oh god i tried to explain i’d’ve and y’all’d’ve to a friend who is a korean exchange student and she just kind of stared at me in horror for a minute lmao
y’all’d’ve is a triple contraction, which breaking it down is “you all would have”
“you + all” -> “y’all”
"you + would" -> "you’d"
" you + have" -> "you’ve"
im sorry people learning english
NYPD escorting a raccoon out of a beauty salon
I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.”
Honey you got a big storm comin…
Katt Williams on Dave Chappelle: “But Dave Chappelle was decapitated in front of us. And until we deal that. Until we deal with the fact that a devout Muslim was accused of being a crackhead. And until we establish the fact that they said he went to Africa to smoke cocaine when we know they don’t have running water and food over there. When they don’t have paved roads over there. You saying he flew past Chicago and Miami and LA and New York and Detroit, you saying he went past Cleveland and Fort Pierce, Florida, and he went past Okeechobee and Oakland, you saying he went all the way to another country where they not eating? You talking about somebody who has a wife and children, five children, and lives on a farm, he doesn’t live here in Hollywood. You saying you convince people that person was an insane crackhead? And he hasn’t been on movies and TV for eight years is that correct? Ok then don’t tell me about what you wanna tell me, I just watched you decapitate him in front of me… Then when he made 500 million dollars, even though his contract said he was supposed to get half of it, they said he made too much for the contract to be valid, so we’ll offer you 10% of what you made. You mean he made 500 million and they offered him 50? Yes. And he said, “what do you think my fans are gonna say? When they find out you offered me 10% of what I made you.” And they said, “your fans will believe that you’re a crazy crackhead by the time you get home. And my nigga got on a flight in LA and by the time he got to Ohio it was so. And eight years later he hasn’t been in a movie or television and is just now trying to do his real comeback in Radio City Music Hall. It’s bees like that sometimes.”